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Many of us think our parents are/were the most controlling people ever. But none of them was half as controlling as the father of a young man in India in the 600's. Siddhartha Gautama, who later became the Buddha, was a prince whose father kept him insulated in a sort of cocoon of wealth and privilege and he never saw – until he was in his 30’s! -- what are called the four passing sights: old age, sickness, death or a wise person. But as the Jeff Goldblum character said in the movie Jurassic Park, 'life has a way of happening.' Siddhartha, according to legend, witnessed all four of those in one day. It was as if reality smacked him in the face and he realized, for the first time, that life as he knew it was based on a falsehood. He was so shocked and moved by the suffering he saw, that he left home to find a ‘cure.' He left a life of luxury and became an ascetic, someone who gives up all creature comforts and lives in the woods. But after several years of that, he ‘woke up’ to the fact that he’d just gone from one extreme to the other and had to find the middle path, something in between. So, he sat under a tree, meditate for over 40 days, and then reached enlightenment or Buddha. And that’s why he’s called The Buddha, the enlightened or aware one.
So what did he become aware of? Author Huston Smith likened the Buddha to a doctor. We go to the doctor because something’s wrong, something hurts us. The first thing a doctor wants to know is what’s the problem? Once we describe the problem, the doctor will try to figure out what’s causing the problem. Once s/he has a diagnosis of the problem, then s/he will know how to cure the problem. Then, the doctor will give you a prescription for medicine which will make you better. That’s exactly what The Buddha does with life!
He came away from his days of meditating with what is called The Four Noble Truths. The problem, said the Buddha, is this:
1) Life includes suffering. You can’t avoid it, dodge it, pretend it doesn’t exist. Everyone experiences suffering in our lives!
So, what’s causing the suffering, asked Dr. Buddha?
2) Our suffering is caused by our ‘clinginess’, our attachment to the way things are right now. Life is ever changing, nothing stays the same, emotions, lives, even what we’re comprised of as humans are fleeting. Everything is in flux, is impermanent. But still, we try to hold on as if we can keep this moment/experience/person forever.
Okay, so, what’s the solution, the cure?
3) Let go! Let go of your clinginess, your attempt to grasp and keep things just as they are. Recognize that everything changes and you can’t hold on to/cling to/attach to things as they are.
Easier said than done! What’s the prescription for doing that?
4) Follow the 8-fold path. Buddha was the first self-help guru. He said if you follow these 8 (not always easy) steps in your everyday life, your life – this life, not some distant time after death, this life will be better.
WOW! Cool! 8 steps to a better life!! (Sounds like a title for an article in one of a million magazines.) What are they, you ask? Here’s what they are:
1) Correct understanding. Similar to any 12 step program, the first thing you need to do is recognize you have a problem. How can you change things if you don’t think you need to change?
2) Correct motivation. Now that you are aware that there’s a problem, be willing to do something about it.
3) Correct speech. The way you talk and the words you use in your everyday life have an effect on you and the world around you. If I’m constantly bad mouthing people, gossiping, or using derogatory language that puts people – or myself – down, then I create an atmosphere that’s negative, hurtful, and destructive. I never understood the rhyme growing up that said: “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” I always thought – and I think the Buddha would agree with me on this – that it should say: “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can hurt far longer.” However, positive speech, words of encouragement and love, help us and those around us tremendously.
4) Correct actions. The Buddha recognized that it wasn’t just what we said, but what we did in our everyday life that made a difference around us. Interestingly, scientists are beginning to prove that he was right! Our actions as well as our speech, do effect our health, our attitude, our ability to ‘bounce back’ from adversity.
5) Correct job. The Buddha took it one step further. He said that the kind of job you do makes a difference to you and the world around you. He was, perhaps, the first environmentally conscious leader. He said there are certain jobs that are detrimental to life. In his day it was leather tanning because the chemicals used hurt the skin and also the earth. Today, he might include chemical bomb manufacturing or the tobacco industry.
6) Correct effort. I’m always interested that effort is here – not bak with understanding and motivation. I suspect because he recognized something else about human nature: we start off with great enthusiasm and interest, but it begins to wane a bit after awhile or when the going gets tough. I always start going to the gym with a great deal of commitment, which maybe lasts two weeks. And then I begin to find excuses to slough off. The Buddha reminds me to keep on keepin’ on, particularly as the last two steps are the most difficult!
7) Correct mindfulness/attention. How often do we sit at a meal and do something else while we eat? Perhaps we read the newspaper, or watch TV, talk to others, or text? When we’re doing that, we’re not paying attention or savoring the food we’re eating! Now, there are certain foods – for me it’s potato chips, butterscotch pudding or Hagaan Daz chocolate ice cream, that I DO savor. I’m aware of each bite, where it falls on the tongue, how it feels in the mouth, the sweetness or saltiness is appreciated completely. But do we pay attention like that every day with every moment of our lives? Are we aware, for example, of the light or the air on our body as we walk outside? Do we give our full attention to the people in our lives? Are we engaged in listening to them then and there, or do we do what I sometimes did when my kids told me a long involved story – I thought about dinner, or emails or work? If we were to pay attention to the everyday life around us, we would be so very grateful and that gratefulness in us would affect others as well. THAT’S what the Buddha was getting at!
8) Correct meditation. To help us become more mindful, more aware of the impermanence of life, more compassionate toward all life, said the Buddha, is to meditate. Focus on your breathing, in and out, sitting or standing, as a practice everyday. Try to let go of your ‘monkey mind’ which is a jumble of a million thoughts, and just be. As Terry Ward writes in his article “IT Starts with a Breath”, “concentrating on breath has a unique, calming effect. By focusing our minds on the act of breathing and nothing else, somehow or another, we come out of that exercise better able to think more clearly. We feel better, too, at least momentarily.” (p. 119) And, again, scientists who have been studying meditators find there is enough data to show that there are improvements to health and well-being from mediation.
Buddha was never concerned with whether there is a God or not. And he didn’t think there was any ‘soul’ at all. Not even that was a thing. The Buddha had what people today call the KISS approach: Keep It Simple, Stupid. Focus on how to stop suffering and be compassionate toward all right now, in this moment, in this lifetime. He likened it to a person who gets an arrow in their side. It hurts! Will they stand there pondering where it came from, who shot it, why did they shoot it, what did they do wrong to deserve this? No! the first concern is to get the arrow out! And that’s what the Buddha offered: a solution to the problem of pain.
One of the stories I like most about the Buddha is one in which a woman whose son has died comes to him and asks him to bring her son back from the dead. The Buddha says, “Okay, but first find me a house that has not been touched by death.” The woman goes valiantly from house to house searching. Of course, she finds out that every house has been touched by death. What changes for her is not her circumstance. What changes for her is her view of her circumstance. And really, that’s the only thing we can change.
Maybe a psychologist would say it all came from Buddha having control issues with his father. But we all have control issues. And ultimately, the only thing we do have control over is how we view and deal with the situations of life. Buddha’s 8 steps certainly help!
